Lauren’s Law: Toddlerisms, Take 2

Last year, my toddlerisms article struck a funny cord with so many of my readers. So, naturally, I wanted to follow up with some of the latest funny lines from the tiny people not only in my life, but several of yours.

Sher Atkinson of Severna Park shared a hilarious moment when her granddaughter, Sophie, was three years old. Her mom, Sarah, had enough of a particular discussion and was trying to close negotiations and said, “Ok, Sophie, I am done. It is either my way or the highway.” Sophie looked at her calmly and said, “I’ll take the highway!”

Dr. Marianne Bailey, owner of Queenstown Veterinary Hospital and Western Shore Veterinary, noted a laughable moment when her son, Brendan, asked: “Can you make the air warmer, so the pool would warm up?” While Annapolis resident Dr. Bailey is a talented veterinarian and mom, I’m fairly confident even that’s outside of her abilities.

My sister-in-law, Heather Ireland of Washington, D.C., knows I like to collect toddlerisms. My four-year-old niece, Taylor, likes to say her nose is “juicy” when it’s a bit runny.

Three of my favorite toddlers: niece Taylor Ireland and daughters Charlotte and Riley Meyer (left to right). 

“Which makes sense in description, but, of course, is quite odd,” Ireland said.  

I’d also be remiss not to feature some other classic moments from my two toddler daughters since last year, because boy have there been some doozies.

“I don’t want to try any sports,” my four-year-old daughter, Charlotte, said last year. “I want to be a trash can when I grow up.”

About a month later, she changed her tune and confidently said, “I’m the swim constructor because I’m an expert swimmer.” She meant instructor. Oh, and she barely made it through three swim lessons. My family still have nightmares from those lessons.

So many of my favorite toddlerism moments from my girls happen around mealtime and at the table.

“It’s lemon Jell-O,” said Charlotte. “It comes with juice in it.”

She clearly heard her parents talking about limoncello.

“I’m accelerating,” Charlotte said, not ready for dessert quite yet.

She meant digesting. Sometimes I wish my digesting could be accelerated, so ok then.

“I’m a lime,” Charlotte said.

This one took a bit of detective work.

“You have to hold your voice” and then she began making a box in the air with her hands. Oh, she was mixing up mime.

Some sister to sister interaction included:

“Riley, peel your eyes open,” Charlotte shouted at her two-year-old sister as we went over the Severn River Bridge with the gorgeous water view last summer.

On the same drive, Riley was yelling in frustration about the music volume.

“Too loud, turn it up.” That one really tricked me on whether to turn it down or up, so I simply pretended to adjust it.

“Ohh-kayyyy,” Riley replied.

Please never hesitate to share the funny sayings from your little comedians by emailing me at or commenting below. I might just have to make this topic an annual occurrence.

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